Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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