I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize