Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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