forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I fill condoms, not promises.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
