what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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