Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
