thus making me awesome and them whores
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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