honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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