In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
