NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
this will be a night to untag.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
