she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
