Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
