she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
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