she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
