Sry I called you an 8
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
