He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
