I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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