Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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