He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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