I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I love having hate sex.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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