Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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