If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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