You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
