it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Duck Duck Cougar?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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