Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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