guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
