So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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