I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
