I want to walk on stilts...naked
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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