good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Someone came in the potted fern
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
