I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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