In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
well most of my day revolves around power hour
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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