Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
