I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
