I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
