I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
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i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
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You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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