Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
