I'm lost and stupid without you.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
