Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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