I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
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Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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