Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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