ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Terrible idea I love it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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