At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
