My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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