My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
