My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
