So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
