if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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