the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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