First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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