Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
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Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
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i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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