The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
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Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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