You can't motorboat a personality
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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