no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
