I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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