im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
