I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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