yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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