he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
