My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
how drunk are you?
Several
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
