BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
