i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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