found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
