this beer tastes like vomit already
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
