its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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