What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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