Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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