she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
