dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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