God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
